Blended Families and Estate Planning: How to Protect Everyone You Love

Blended and non-traditional families are everywhere these days and that’s a wonderful thing! But when it comes to estate planning, they bring unique challenges. According to Pew Research, 1 in 6 children live in a blended family. Two-parent households are on the decline in the U.S., as divorce, remarriage, and cohabitation rise. Blended families often include step-kids, half-siblings, and kids from previous marriages, turning what might be a straightforward plan for a traditional family into a delicate balancing act.

At Sammartino & Sultan Law Group, we know how important it is to create an estate plan that honors your wishes and helps avoid conflicts even when the family tree gets a little complicated.

What Happens If You Don’t Plan?

Here’s the truth: without an estate plan, state laws take over after you’re gone. For example, in New York, your surviving spouse gets the first $50,000 of your estate, and the rest is split between the spouse and the children. But blended families rarely fit this cookie-cutter mold, so this default division might leave some loved ones out and cause intense disputes. And let's be real: court battles over estates are expensive, drawn-out, and painful for everyone.

Smart Moves for Blended Families

• Wills and Guardianship

  If you have kids from a previous marriage who are still minors, this matters BIG time. Without clear legal documents, your ex might gain control over your children's inheritance. Having a will that appoints a guardian for your minor kids’ share protects their future and keeps decisions in the family, not in court!

  
  

• Trusts: The Ultimate Game Changer

  Trusts can do a lot of heavy lifting for blended families. They let you provide for your current spouse while guaranteeing your children from earlier marriages get their fair share later on.

  
  

  One popular tactic? Setting up a trust that gives your spouse access to the assets for their lifetime but directs the remainder to your kids when your spouse passes. This way, if your spouse remarries, the trust protects your children from the new marriage’s claims. Trusts offer flexibility, control, and can reduce family drama.

• Open Communication + Professional Guidance

  Fairness doesn’t always mean equal. Each family is different, maybe one child has received greater financial support already, or some siblings value sentimental items more than cash. Talking openly and working with an estate planning attorney ensures the plan reflects your family’s unique situation and feelings.

  Tip: Pick executors or trustees wisely, too. Sometimes, a trusted professional trustee is best to handle tricky situations so disputes can be minimized.

Bonus Tips to Equalize the Playing Field

• Life insurance policies: Can help ensure kids from prior relationships get their portion without hurting your spouse’s financial security.

• Lifetime gifts: Using annual or lifetime gift exemptions can balance inheritances while you’re still here.

• Family foundations or donor-advised funds: Great for families big on philanthropy and legacy.

  
  

Make Sure Your Plan Works FOR Your Family

Blended family estate planning isn’t “one size fits all.” Whether your family includes step-kids, half-siblings, or complicated custody scenarios, we’re here to help build a plan that’s fair, clear, and future-proof.

Want to talk about your situation? The compassionate and experienced team at Sammartino & Sultan Law Group can guide you every step of the way.

Contact us today to create an estate plan that protects your unique family and your peace of mind.

About the Author

Leslie has been practicing law since 2009 and is the host of the estate planning podcast 'Legacy Purse'. She has a long history of representing family members struggling to inherit property and/or wealth from deceased family members through the Probate Courts. Knowing how time-consuming and expensive the probate process is, Leslie takes great pride in helping her clients learn how to plan and protect their families during their lives so they can avoid the probate court process and save their loved ones that additional grief (and expense).